My Dwindling Love Relationship With Chocolate!

So...I am on Day 6 and I am feeling great. There is the occasional, “I am not going to have any chocolate for 84 more days? AHHHHH!”. Then I remember that I am NOT on a strict diet that dictates what I can and cannot have. I have some suggestions as to how often I eat and when I should eat carbs, and my ideal carbs to protein to calorie to fat ratios. I also have workouts that are recommended, but not required. Nothing set in stone. No gun to my head. It all comes down to me wanting to take control over what I put in my body and how I feel! AND I AM!!!!

This weekend was not an ideal first weekend involving a new way to eat. I spent the Friday afternoon rolling chocolate-covered peanut butter balls for an event at our local pregnancy center. Then, I baked an apple pie for my father-in-law's birthday (he requested it).  I started a gorgeous Saturday morning off with a beautifully-prepared Mother's Day tea with miniature cheesecakes, muffins and cream puffs surrounding me. I followed that event with a child's birthday party where cake was calling me. Then, I finished off the day with an adult birthday party with amazing-smelling pie and ice cream. 

 The next day, I walked through the church hallway that was being conquered by Donut Lovers (obviously an organized group of children and adults put in my path to derail me from my goal), went to an amazing workout/challenge at the gym, and sat through yet another kid's birthday party involving talking cake. It was crazy and challenging...to say the least. But I abstained! Not because I had to, but because I finally wanted to. I am worth more than a piece of cake!

As a friend of mine stated on her blog today as well (she is also trying a new detox/healthy-eating plan), I suffer from constant stomachaches and headaches. I have noticed that I have had none during the last six days and I am thrilled! It is nice to know there is nothing much wrong with me besides the fact that I was a junk food junkie. I also typically suffer from sleep issues and stress and have felt like I have a much better handle on things as of late. Heck...I did the incline for fun on Friday morning before 6 am and smiled the whole way! Things are really changing for me and I am excited to continue this journey. So rather than sitting around playing a game of “You can be my Bodyguard and I will be your Whitney” with chocolate-covered pretzels tonight...I think I will do some sit-ups. And when tomorrow comes and I long for a relaxing evening bath with some delicious Milk Duds...I will head off to Zumba to “shake it” with some friends.

Today I saw a commercial for chocolate diamonds by some chain jewelry store and all I wanted in the world was chocolate! I could care less about a diamond necklace! At that point, I had to take a step back and just laugh!!! It is so cliché... but laughing, especially at yourself, is good for the soul.

Starting Something Terrifying...Yet Terrific!

On May 1st, I will be starting a 90-Day Challenge through Cofer Fitness and I am terrified!  

As many of you know, I am a control freak.  I find peace and relaxation in my life as everything else around me finds order.  Although I love God and trust His plan for my life in theory, I often have a hard time transferring that head knowledge of the life God has intended for me to my heart knowledge to fully live it out.  For years, I have been trying to control my kiddos (not working so well), my wonderful Hubby (He doesn't love it so much), and my environment.  The one problem with this, is that I was focusing on everything else except myself.  In the midst of the chaos of growing up and becoming an adult, managing a household and family, work, church, etc., I lost myself.  And throughout that loss, I ignored my health and wellness.  I think this is a common problem with stay-at-home Moms (SAHM), but not a legitimate excuse ANY LONGER for me to gain weight, eat junk food, and go through the drive-thru more times than not.

The problem all starts with me having an inappropriate relationship with food.  If I am happy...I celebrate with food.  If I am sad...I eat to make myself feel better.  If I am hot...I have a bowl of ice cream, and if I am cold...I have a cup of homemade hot chocolate and a chocolate chip cookie.  You see the pattern.  I also see this inappropriate relationship seeping into my children's lives as well.  We reward them with edible "treats" when they perform well at school or they eat their dinner to our standards.  I don't want my children to associate food with behavior or emotions, so therefore I need to fix that negative relationship in my own head first!

The challenge I am entering into is an intense exercise program for 5 days a week for 12 weeks.  It also attacks the food side of health and teaches me the right way to eat.  It teaches me the healthy foods and certain times of the day that are better to eat certain foods.  It teaches me that just doing cardio is not enough to burn off all the calories I currently eat.  Through Todd Cofer (my brother-in-law) and my husband, Luke (who is now a certified ACE trainer), I will be competing for an individual prize as well as a group prize for having the largest percentage of weight loss at the end of the 90 days.  Can I do this?  Abso-freakin'-lutely!  Can I overcome my emotional love-relationship with food and trust God that I am a valued person and worth doing this for?  That is definitely the bigger question...